In part 1, I explained how God opened my eyes to a different perspective on dating. In the end, I came to the conclusion that I needed to seek God’s wisdom on how to approach dating as a whole.

As I began to seek God’s will for my ‘dating life’ I explored various approaches to dating.

I always like to start with status quo and move from there, what is a human’s normal approach to relationships. I resolved that for the most part we ‘go with the flow’. That’s exactly what I did for a number of years. I went with the flow and sought God’s wisdom and direction as needed. For many, this approach is probably very healthy!

Moving to the left from there we hit the ‘pursue like crazy’ approach. You may know someone like this. Someone who is in ‘pursue like crazy’ mode is constantly thinking and talking about the opposite sex, specifically in relation to dating people they find attractive. Although my tone is negative, I do believe, God willing, there may be a time and a place for this approach as well.

That leaves us with what I would consider the ‘far right approach’ (we’re talking on a liberal-conservative scale here, by the way). The ‘far right approach’ is actively staying single. Someone who is taking the ‘far right approach’ declines opportunities to ‘date’ on any level beyond friendship.

God did not make me wait for an answer on which of these were for me. He had a change in store for this season of my life, and it became clear that I need to take an actively single approach to dating for an indefinite amount of time.

As I thought about this radical approach to relationships (I only label it radical because I don’t know a single college student who is doing the same thing), I realized how freeing this was going to be! Instead of spending any amount of time thinking about how one girl or another may or may not be a good marriage candidate, as marriage is years down the road anyhow, I can devote time to other things in my life. Things that, in this season, are incredibly more important than finding the perfect girl.

So here I am, in the midst of something completely new. God did not call us to do what is natural, instead he called us to be supernatural people who desire to be more and more like him. God seems to have a knack at knowing where our boxes are and pushing us to step outside of them. I’ve always been a big fan of stepping outside of our boxes.

Maybe God is calling you to take a step back and think about your approach to dating relationships. Then again, maybe he’s calling you to be radical in another area of your life.

How is God pushing your personal boundaries? Do you feel uncomfortable in certain areas of your life? If not, you should. If we’re comfortable, we don’t need God. So go crazy and live uncomfortably.

on iTunes: True Love – Phil Wickham

1 comment

  1. Chris Warner June 26, 2010 at 9:12 pm


    haha, much like a condensed version of what we talked about 🙂
    I really like the three definitions you put on the types of perspectives. To me, it seems like a feasible and real approach to how people go about searching, (or not at all for that matter).
    As for you my brother, just as paul talks about marriages in corinthians (maybe for us, relationships) its ok to remain single (for us, actively not seeking) because we can focus more on God 🙂
    Not to down-talk any arguments for marriage and relationships, but if the opportunity, or like in your case the calling, to focus on avoiding relationships comes up, it can be very beneficial to do so.
    Also for you Corey, I continually hope and pray that your indefinite path is fruitful and beneficial for yourself and those around you.

    on iTunes: By Your Side-Tenth Avenue North

    Your friend in Christ

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